Amsterdam

Amsterdam would like to be known for tulips and canals rather than coffee shops and the red light district.

As I looked around the bus when we left Paris I had the feeling that no one was going to Amsterdam for the tulips, but then neither were we. I wanted to see prostitutes in windows and eat a space brownie.

We were on a Bus About bus, kind of like a tour. Our guide for the trip was Amy, a girl from Brisbane who told us we'd be stopping in Bruges on our way to 'the damage' (which apparently means Amsterdam)

After about an hour and a half we got there for a toilet stop and to pick up some other people - one of whom was a friend from home, crazy to run into someone you know in Bruges!

I came out of the ladies to see Sam with a Belgium beer in hand.. It was delicious.

Amy had been very clear that you've got to be on the bus when it's meant to leave or it will go without you. So after finishing the beer we walked back towards the bus. Until we saw a windmill, and started taking photos..

Then we hurried along to meet the rest of the group but were held up at a canal crossing.. For 15 minutes (those boats do not move quickly) thankfully the bus didn't leave..

As we drove into Amsterdam Amy gave us an overview of the city, activities and the nightlife. She even handed around literature on prostitutes (which Sam read, in depth)

We had all decided to meet up for a drink later that night, after heading to the wrong hotel we finally got to our room and headed out.

Amsterdam is cool, everyone is trendy and the buildings are amazing. It was great to walk through.

But my god, watch out for the bikes! We got into the habit of yelling bike at every crossing to remind ourselves - they don't stop for you. Ever.

We met our new friends from the bus at a hostel and had a few beers and got to know everyone. There were a lot of people from Melbourne, a few from England and one guy from America.

After a few hours of drinking and deciding who were the most annoying people that we needed to avoid, we went to a coffee shop.

I shared a brownie with one of the girls and Sam had a smoke.. Words can't describe the atmosphere at that point, these pictures will give you the gist.

Brownie time..

The look on my face says it all

And this is the part where shit started to get weird..

After the coffee shop we all decided to head to a sex show.. When in Amsterdam.

It wasn't great - it was disturbing.
The final act involved a middle aged couple loving each other, on stage..

And at this point in the show two Norwegian guys were standing behind me shouting messages of encouragement to the man on stage.

Time to go...

We ended up back at the hotel eating McDonald's at two in the morning.

I was planning on going for a run the next morning, needless to say that didn't happen.

We slept the night off and were going to hire bikes and make our way around the city. But it was raining, so we bought an umbrella and wandered around the winding canals and little alleyways.

Since it was raining we decided to go to Anne Frank huis. The line was enormous, so we found ourselves a pub and waited until the rain stopped.

When we returned the line was smaller and the sun was out.

The tour of the house is incredible, everyone is silent as they walk through. On the walls are excerpts from her diary and the house looks as if it did back then.

That was a must see for me, really interesting especially since we are going to a concentration camp when we get to Munich.

Our last night in Amsterdam was tame compared to what we'd gotten up to the night before. We had a big dinner and then headed to another coffee shop, I wanted to go to Bulldogs, which is a recommended one and Sam wanted to go somewhere less touristy..

When we got to Bulldogs I got another brownie and Sam had a smoke, then we were on the hunt for Poffertjes, small Dutch pancakes that my mum makes. We found a place and got some to go. When we got to our hotel room we opened the box and it was one big pancake. The effects of the brownie masked the disappointment and we got stuck into the massive pancake.

On our last morning I went for a run around vondelpark a massive park in the middle of amsterdam. Apparently it's legal to fornicate in the shrubbery here (why you would want to I don't know) I decided to stick to the paths.

Sam managed to find me some Poffertjes for breakfast and then we were off to the airport.

Two days was not enough in Amsterdam, if we had more time we probably would have gotten to know more about tulips and canals and to explore the city some more.

If I came back I certainly wouldn't see a sex show again.. But I'd love to learn all about the tulips.

Paris

Day one in Paris was by far the best day. ever.

First of all we are in Paris, I probably don't need to go on  - But I will.
We arrived on the train from London late Saturday night, our hotel was only a short walk away and it is perfect! Very cute room on the top floor of an old building in Montmartre.

We went for a late dinner (which is totally normal in Paris) to an Italian restaurant with a menu only written in French - It doesn't have to make sense. There was a fair bit of guess work involved but in the end it was delicious.

On Sunday, our first full day I went for a run along the streets of Paris and it was amazing, hardly anyone was about, I felt like I had the city all to myself.
All my life I've wanted to be here and here I am.

After crossiants for breakfast  I checked the map and Sam and I headed on foot to the see the Louvre. After about half an hour of walking Sam checked the map and realised I'd directed us in the opposite direction to where we were meant to be going. Sam took charge of the map (possiby for the best).

We arrived at the Louvre and I was that excited, until I saw the line.

The Louvre, and the line..

We didn't go in, plan is to go tomorrow morning before it opens to see the best bits (Mona) and then get moving before the crazy crowds begin (lets just see how that pans out!)
Then we wandered on to the Arc de Triumph, munching on crossiants and sipping coffee that I had ordered in French - they totally thought I was a local! (no, they didn't)

Bouyed by my successful beverage order I even asked a frenchman (in French) where the toilet was and got a response, after that I'm pretty sure that I am French - oui!

Poor Sam had no idea that we had to walk down the Champs de Elysees to get to the Arc, he didn't complain.. but after walking around two shops I started to get the feeling that it was enough when he said "Oh No! the boyfriend chair is taken!"
On to the Arc, we didn't climb it, I negotiated with Sam that if he climbed the Eiffel Tower with me we could view the Arc from below.
At this point my feet felt like they were going to fall off, and I'm sure Sam felt the same - because he was wearing thongs.. No comment

So  we stopped in at Laudree for some macarons, it was the sugar hit we needed. We added the left over macarons to our bag of picnic goodies and headed to the lawns beneath the Eiffel Tower.

Baguttes, macarons and red wine beneath the tower was probably the best way to spend the afternoon.

And then we climbed the Eiffel Tower, we went to the second viewing area - not the top. But it didn't matter, the second I started climbing the stairs I had the biggest grin, and it didn't go away.

From red wine beneath the tower to a celebratory white on top the afternoon  was unbeatable.

Given that we had walked about twenty kilometers that day already we decided to get a taxi back to the hotel and get this, the driver only spoke French and we still managed to get to the right place.. That'd be my excellent linguistic skills coming into play again.

With tender feet we wandered around Montmartre to find another cute little Italian place called Michelangelo's the food and the wine was fantastic. A picture of the Mona Lisa hung on the wall, so maybe don't have to go back to the Louvre..

The owner was so sweet, he gave us a free shot of something before we left.. Not sure why maybe because we were the only tourists there.

The next morning we headed to see the Sacre Couer Basillica, luckily we we were all over the tricks they play to get you to pay them money. The string trick - where they go to shake your hand and then tie string around your wrist/finger and don't let you go until you pay - was attempted on us about ten times, they really should communicate better.

The view from the dome of the Sacre Coeur was amazing, even after climbing the Eiffel Tower the day before. We had to climb teeny tiny stairways that went on for ever (did I mention I'm slightly claustrophobic?)

We also visited the church and the crypt, I'm not religious but it was pretty astounding. All the sculptures and alters and even the grandness of the ceiling.. There was writing on some of the sculptures, and the stone that made up the building, can you do that? I'm pretty sure if you are the guy that writes I was here on a statue of Jesus in a Basillica bad things will happen to you.

Then the camera ran out of battery... (yeah, that's not going to happen again)

After returning to the hotel to charge the camera and discuss who's responsibility camera charging is we headed to Galleries Lafayette. I wanted to have an outfit that I could refer to as 'oh this old thing, I got it in Paris..' you know, like a wanker.

Sam didn't know what he was getting himself in for - neither did I. Everyone there was insane, it's like they had never been shopping before.

After we'd navigated through six floors of insane pushy women we reached the top which had a fantastic view of the city. And I had another photo with the Eiffel Tower behind me (there will never be too many photos of me with the Eiffel Tower, maybe for you - but not for me.)

The shopping experience had scarred us both, so we sat and had lunch and drank red wine and champagne before heading back to the louvre.

The line was so much smaller and we saw Mona! I'm quite sure that the insane crowd clamouring to take photos of her had come straight from Galleries Lafayette.

It was our last afternoon in Paris and our feet were achy from walking the halls of the louvre, so there was only one thing to do. Sit in the street and eat Nutella crepes.

And on the way home I got my Parisian outfit..

Staying in Montmarte meant that we hadn't seen the Eiffel Tower light up at night so dinner on our last night was right out the front, with a prefect view. The food was delicious (it would want to be, it cost us a whole days budget) and we saw the tower light up and got more photos with it (I told you, there will never be too many)

Im sad to be leaving Paris, it was exactly what I had hoped it would be, but there is so much more to see, I'll be back Paris..
Au Revoir

Adventures in Dubai continued..

With Kristy working, we were on our own and planned to go skiing in the morning and the to a desert safari in the evening.
We thought we were so clever getting a taxi the way she had told us, everything was going really well until the windscreen on the taxi we were in started cracking right down the middle.
The driver's solution was to drop us on the side of the highway in peak hour with no shade (at that point I think it was about 40 degrees)..

After about half an hour of walking along the side of the road we found another taxi. And man, did the driver love coconuts, lovely guy but seriously twenty minutes of coconut talk is not right.
N.B (if you are coconut mad and want to truly enjoy the magic of delicious coconuts, best you head to Bangladesh according to our new friend) 

After we learnt all the delicious facts about coconuts we went to the Mall of the Emarites... To go skiing. In Dubai. In a Mall.
 It was so much fun.
I hadn’t been skiing in a long time so on the advice of one of the instructors I had a bit of a practice in the area where children are taught to ski.
That was embarrassing.
I finally decided that I should ski with the adults and that was much more fun.

The ticket price included all of the gear, but for some reason gloves are optional and we didn’t get them.
Which meant that when we had finished skiing our hands were bright red and frozen, even as we headed towards the desert.

Our safari driver was an hour late picking us up. And he was a bit weird, en route to th desert he actually said  "if it happens in the desert, nobody knows" we thought we were going to die..
Then he said we had to get other guests and drove us to a supermarket which is supposedly a meeting point. When the “guests” didn’t show up we decided to go in for some water and came out with traditional male head dresses – both of us.

The safari itself was great, although I did start feeling a little queasy half way through, but Sam was loving it so much I didn’t have the heart to tell him didn’t have the stomach for it.

We got some great photos out in the desert and then we returned to the desert camp for dinner which was an amazing set up, there were all sorts of traditional activities to do before dinner began.

Sam and I parked ourselves with the Sheesha and had a great time.

Not only did we have our safari car to ourselves we also had a table at dinner to ourselves.. Right near the stage. There were three entertainment acts, man with dress (it doesn’t sound impressive but it was, I just don’t know why he was wearing a dress), man with bird (who was significantly less popular than man with dress) and belly dancing woman (who was exactly that).

When we were back at Kristy’s I even had a go at the traditional dress.

Our last full day in Dubai was spent in an Irish pub watching the AFL, watching the mighty tiges who had a win.

we went to a beach party later that night and went swimming, until a security guard told me to put my clothes back on.. hoping that was something to do with me being a woman in the middle east rather than his reaction to what I've got going on.

So much love to Kristy for putting us up (and putting up with us)

And we are off..

Off to Dubai!

Dubai is different.. It's amazing but its so different to what I expected.

We have been staying with Kristy, a friend of ours.
She lives in Sharjah, the Emarite next to Dubai, by law women have to cover up - in 42 degree heat.
I've never been more aware that I'm a woman, when kristy picked us up from the airport we had to get in a pink taxi, because there were more ladies than men in the car.

We went into Dubai on our first night and saw the dancing fountains - the water spurts out to the musical stylings of Whitney Houston and Lionel Ritchie (Uh-Mazing).. beneath the Burj Kalifa, the world's largest building. We had to look at it from the ground, because Sam felt it was safer there.

Just before the Jet Lag set in we wandered around the Dubai Mall, they really love their malls.

An Acquarium in a Mall?

Ice Skating in a Mall?

Plan for tomorrow is to ski in a mall.. Yep, thats right.

What's the worst that could happen?

I'm always thinking of the worst case scenario. Always.
In my head most situations end up with either death, incarceration or morbid obesity.. I'm not joking.

So the biggest trip of my life (to date) blows my mind. We leave in six days.. SIX DAYS!

The excitement is almost unbearable.. But there's also a few things that need to be sorted - major issues .. Like learning key phrases.

I've learnt "where is the toilet?" in five different languages.

The other issue is my passport.
I look like a dodgy blonde secret agent in a Matt Damon movie, and I'm a brunette..



It'll be fine, right?

This will be the holiday of a lifetime, I should know I've put it all in my spreadsheet.

I might be overthinking this, just a little..

A beautiful mind

Last night a friend and I headed to a regional Miss Universe Australia final.

To be honest I was only in it for the goody bag...

I'd never been to anything like it before, but was very much looking forward to the question and answer section of the competition.

   

In my head this is how it was going to go:

The contestants certainly didn't disappoint.

Q: If you had a million dollars to donate to a charity which charity would you choose?
A: Um.. (really long awkward pause)
Uh.. Oh wow...
(another pause, at this point the audience began to groan. It was starting to get painful)
theres just so many to choose from!
(I'd just like to point out that there is a charity partner of Miss Universe Australia..)
hmmm um.. The Great Barrier reef .. to you know, stop the pollution and stuff.
Thank you for coming!

And yes, great barrier reef got through..

Look out Mr Trump

Conversations with Grandma

She is a very wise woman, my Grandma

My Grandmother is an amazing woman, she is 87 years old and has done so much - and knows even more.

I love my Grandma, but she certainly has a way with words..

She recently told a friend of mine (who was walking arm in arm with her down the street) "If you can't be beautiful, you may as well be useful"  

I don't know how she expected the friend to take it, to be honest I'm not quite sure what it means. That's a classic Grandma response. 

So much so that family members share Grandma stories, each one slightly more offensive than the next.

I had remained relatively unscathed, until I pointed out that my photo was in the paper and was met with the response "Oh my, Its not very complimentary is it?" 

love you too Grandma.